Converging Ideas

Have you ever wondered why a person has two couples?

In many cultures because of the polygamy I guess people don’t suffer infidelity, even though, in western societies it’s a matter of concern. A lot of people at least once in their life had suffered infidelity.  

I will not say there are valid reasons for that to happen or that some people deserve it; but the truth is many people do not take enough care of their couple, so they have to fill the lack of emotional, physical or sexual support in other person.

Perhaps, those are real reasons, although is not an excuse to me when there is love.

When a person feels love, true love for someone, he/she doesn’t want to be away from this person, doesn’t want to harm, mistreat, or hurt this person’s feeling.

If you get to love someone as yourself, you’ll take care of him/her as you would for your own. Furthermore, you can realize that making this person entirely happy is to seek your own happiness too.

If a person gets married in love, it involves a several emotions and actions in the compromise. Unconditional love, affinity, intimacy, attachment and passion are some of those emotions which we experience when decide to commit to marriage.

Unconditional love: to love someone regardless of one’s actions or beliefs. Term used in highly committed relationships. It has also been used to describe God’s love for humankind.

Personally, I see this term as the perfection we find in the beloved person. We lose the capacity to recognize their defects. And love is supposed to remain and endure above all and beyond.

Affinity/close similarity: a natural liking for or attraction to a person.So, it means you wouldn’t want to be away from this person. Gravity is the attraction that keeps us attached to the planet earth, let’s think is kind of the same with the affinity when we are in love.

If each of the couple feels the same, it means they won’t be away from each other, they won’t feel lonely so they wouldn’t need the presence of a third person to cover the lack of companionship. I guess when you have a couple you don’t want to spend much time alone.

Intimacy (closeness, familiarity, warmth, affection): this is one of the most important emotions when it comes to the marriage topic, (in this case we are discussing about one of the principal reasons of the divorce: infidelity).

Most of the couples that succeed in marriage reach a great intimacy level. So, trough intimacy is that couples get a close association and deep understanding of each other. So, if you really know your couple, you would be able to identify the things he/she likes or not. You will know what to do to keep him/her happy instead of make them miserable.  

Passion is very important too. It is the strong amorous feeling or desire we have for someone; it is also, the strong sexual desire. Passion is like the flame in the marriage, of course the fuel is the love. To keep passion alive is the key to avoid infidelity. If you don’t have such attraction to your wife or husband, then you might end looking for someone else. 

Let’s imagine a couple that explode into a crisis; suddenly one of them starts to notice mistakes, bad habits and to feel a whole lot of discomfort; convinced itself that everything is going to the wrong way and see other people around them way better than its actual couple, this person created its own reasons to look in someone else what supposedly its couple couldn’t give them, then we can see there were no love after all. 

I understand there could be many physical, emotional and sexual reasons for someone to fall into infidelity, despite that, I believe under such situation there is not unconditional love, because when you love someone, there is no place to anyone else but for the beloved one.

M.F. Kübler